and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
