Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
