:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
