Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
