U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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