well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
