Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
