Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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