my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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