He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just high enough for therapy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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