you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
