Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think my tv is drunk
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
