I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
