I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
