I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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