She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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