we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
