You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm jealous of your bromance
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
