the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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