I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
