dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
