first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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