I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
