Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
