its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
