He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
