she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
