I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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