'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
