Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
