Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
