worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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