its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
