Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
