god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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