How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
