planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
