wrigley field is MILF paradise
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
