My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
