wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
