YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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