Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
