3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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