hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
