If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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