sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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