just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
