how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
