Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
