Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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