so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
be right there i have to get my cape
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
