And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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