I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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