Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
